so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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