i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
