Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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