We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
