How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
