turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
