Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
this beer tastes like vomit already
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
