Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
