I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
