we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
