Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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