great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
