worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
