I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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