I'm gonna have a badass scar
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
