I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
