Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Nicole vs. Life
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize