The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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