i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
