Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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