The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The Olympian is in my bed
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
