Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My vagina just clenched in fear
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize