Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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