I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
ugly people sure do ruin things
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
