Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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