I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Do vagina's smell?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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