sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
