yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
