no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
