I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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