so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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