I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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