I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Congratulations! We have a period
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