Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
