What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
