I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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