**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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