If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
