i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
