Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
