A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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