I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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