I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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