bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I cut my penus on the lid.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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