I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Randomize