Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
