I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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