I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
birth control should be required to get into college
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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