yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
