Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
