Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
