Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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