I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
