Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
