Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
