i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
